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An institution called marriage by: creed

Blog ID: 14910

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When I was a child, I used to view marriage as some holy tradition. A tradition whose implications I never understood back then. As I grew up, in my pre-teens I thought marriage as a bond that could not be broken (courtesy of hindi cinema then). Later as i grew up, I thought that marriage was the means to have kids. If two people married, they would have kids. I never could answer my own curiosity, as to why some would have a single child while others would have multiples of them.
Then, one fine day I found out that marriages get broken too! Folks would call this as a divorce. I never understood logical reasons behind it back then. Later I got to know that marriages are not necessary to give birth to children - That was one big shocker to me! Fast forward today - I know the logics and bio-logics behind marriages and having kids. Thankfully am not as ignorant as I was back then. I now understand (hopefully) the nuances behind this so called institution called marriage!
A marriage is a social custom that binds together two people, igniting their passions and leading to birth of babies. But is marriage such a simple activity? Since the majority of us come from a Patriarchal social system, the men in it take undue advantages of this so called arrangement called marriage.
If I talk about the Indian tradition system, even today - girls have to showcase their culinary skills, their housekeeping skills, their singing skills, their dancing skills etc etc in order to woo the guy who has that fat wallet. In this society, the task of managing household de-facto falls upon the wife. But, times are changing ... there are so many successful women around these days. People no-more stay in extended families. Many a times, a wife is found to be more successful than her husband. Men have started working in kitchen - Times indeed have been changing!
A new system called live-in threatens to completely eclipse marriage system. Percentage of people being in a live-in has been increasing on YoY basis. This arrangement is so popular that it is no more a taboo talk! And then we have starlets like Scarlett Johnson who explicitly state that they do not despise the institution called marriage but consider it as a lot of work!
So, what exactly is a lot of work? Making sure to be in love? Making sure to cuddle him/her at night? Being up early to wake the better-half? (did you just imagine a women waking up and then kicking her husband to wake up? - I wanna sound gender neutral but this is reality).
A woman generally has to put up a lot of effort into marriage. She is expected to be an awesome trophy wife when going on an outing (marriage, party). She needs to be sanskari (full of virtues) when facing relatives. She needs to be the best cook in this world. She needs to be a great house manager, she needs to manage her husbands wake-up time, breakfast, tie, shoe, underwear wtf! Do the laundry or get it done. Do grocery shopping. Deliver healthy kids and look after them.
Being a woman in a marriage is one herculean task! I as a man, do understand this but yet still as a typical misogynist I will try to look out for all these attributes in a lady before marrying her!
Is this institution called marriage a sham or am I a hypocrite! Only time would tell. For all I know, the only thing a marriage demands from me is constant inflow of money and unwavering loyalty with dedicated time for her. Three simple things! And yet still I am unsure if I can provide them well. Well, lets hope for the best!

09 07 17 - 12:04:23

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Rate: 1 - Points: 1

An institution called marriage : Recent Comments

- Mirage

No need to think about it too much cause no matter how hard you try but you can\'t actually avoid anything which will be happened anyway..
But I want to say one thing..
If a guy is conservative by his own mindset and society or family background and don\'t have much personal strength to stand beside his life partner even if she can\'t fulfil all the demands of her husband and his family, then THAT GUY SHOULD NEVER EVEN TRY FOR A LOVE MARRIAGE..
The best option for this types of guys is arrenged marriage by his family or relatives.. Though even arranged marriages don\'t assure lifetime warranty too but at least this guys will have the option to blame others if something goes wrong....

22 04 18-21:23:09

- stealdude

Marriage is not burden ..it is not women or men responsibilities.it is a biological need at 25 to 35, social need between 35 to 45 , emotional need above 45, if you are crying do not u need a shoulder to weep. If you are happy do not you need some real heart to share .do not you want to see both of your love as baby doll playing in front of you . Exactly i will the true love will blossom at age 50 .Living together ..we are not animals after 15 days the bird will push its baby from nest once it learned to fly a little . If we do like that .we can not have our lovely mom. Finally an individual need very pure soul who can understand your emotions, feelings..decide think, where we get that true affection, in marriage or living together ..answer choice is yours

06 01 18-17:48:49

- THE_DIVA

Ohh so dis is d reason , the writer himself disappear from RC (cookielove) !! My point towards last 3 lines.. The author dedicated his time for his would be if I m not wrong:p.. All d best for ur lovy dovy future (fairy).

01 09 17-22:00:14

- You_

I have decided not to get married ever and not have kids. It is just so much responsibility, so much drama. I don\'t think I can take all that with my goal living a happy peaceful independent do-what-I-want life. I don\'t even want to take a chance at it because in India you only get married once and if make kids, chance of getting out is zero(legally possible but society will make it hell for us)
I would be up for living-together relationship on the condition of no kids. He/she should be able to leave whenever they want and the other person should respect that.

17 08 17-20:14:16

- lily_scene

I decided a few years ago never to marry not that I feel marriage is a bad thing,,obviously I viewed marriage differently my mum isn\'t what you would call a domestic goddess...cooking...we had a cook..cleaning we had a housekeeper and a cleaner,,looking after kids I had a full time nanny she even stayed employed by my family when I went to boarding school at 4 and a half so was always their for school holidays , so being a wife can be very different according to I guess it down to the culture you come from and the wealth your family possess ,my grandmothers were the same they had servant\'s to manage the houses look after kids..there skills like my mums are different good at hosting partys lol no that\'s cruel my mum is very intelligent and very beautiful it take different skills to be a diplomats wife...I do wish I was closer to my mum but that\'s nothing to do with marriage is it,,anyway marriage is definitely not for me and kids no way not ever..bloody hell long comment for a blog isn\'t it:]

09 07 17-19:21:37

- ARN4V

Mera bhi kuch aisha he manna hai ki sirf babies ke liye saadi karna or karwna or poori socity ko bula ke jor shor se ptakhe chor ke yeh btana ki kal mai sex karne wala hoo is completly useless and waste of money...Creed achaw kiya saadi se pahle yeh blog likh liya:p bold and practical blog(tup)

09 07 17-01:06:25

- Nyx__

Clearly written ! Got the point you were trynna express ! You are in dilemma. Well, i wish you good luck though ! (tt)

09 07 17-00:34:06

 

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